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03 June 2011 @ 01:29 pm
[FIC] Love Pain  
Title: Love Pain (One Shot)
Fandom: Super Junior
Main Pairing: Hyukjae/Sungmin; broken!Kyuhyun/Sungmin
Genre: Slash; Angst; Romance
Rating: PG
Table: Table A
Prompt: 045. Truth
Word Count: 1,818

It’s a fixed marriage that made his life turned upside down. It is because of the sudden declaration that he must marry his best friend; he never had the chance to be with the person he truly loves. Sungmin has been Hyukjae’s best friend ever since they knew what ‘best friend’ means. They mean so much to each other and they treated each other more special than anyone else but a fixed marriage is something Sungmin never thought of.

He blames his parents and Hyukjae’s parents for coming up with such a worst idea ever. They plan everything for their only sons and they thought that letting their kids marry will be for the best. First, they’ve been best of friends and second, it will be easier for them to love each other more than a friend and third, they will take care of each other for the rest of their lives. Even though he’s been so close to Hyukjae, in reality, he is in love and still in love with someone else.

They’ve been together for quite a while now, they are getting married next week and it’s been hell for Sungmin. They go on dates, hold hands and share a kiss. Everything’s normal. They seem to look fine but Sungmin is completely breaking inside. He doesn’t want this but he doesn’t have a choice because he cannot go against his parents so he must marry Hyukjae.

At a restaurant, Sungmin and Hyukjae are having a peaceful dinner together. They converse and act like normal couples do. Hyukjae then notices Sungmin’s unexpected down mood. He wonders why but Sungmin already stood up and ready to leave when a familiar guy greeted him. Hyukjae pays for their unfinished dinner and immediately went towards Sungmin and the guy.

“Are you leaving already?”

“Yes Kyu, we’re leaving. Why?”

“Too bad, I wanted you to meet someone.”

“Oh, do you have someone right now Kyu?” Hyukjae suddenly asks out of the blue which made Sungmin’s heart break into pieces as Kyuhyun confidently says “Yes.” Sungmin wants a hole to swallow him that very moment or someone will shoot him for him to be dead. He feels so worst that Kyuhyun already found some replacement.

Sungmin tries so hard to hold back everything he feels. He calmly smiled and said goodbye and he instantly drags Hyukjae out. Hyukjae mentally smacked his head for interfering and asking such an idiotic question in front of Sungmin.

Kyuhyun is Sungmin’s life. He was his everything until the day he was forced to stop seeing him because of the sudden announcement of a fixed marriage. Sungmin loves him so much that he never wanted the day when he needed to leave him happen but it did. It’s all because of the arranged marriage.

On their way to Sungmin’s apartment, no one dared to start a conversation. The silence inside Hyukjae’s car is so much uncomfortable. Hyukjae has a lot of things running inside his mind while Sungmin has only one in his. Aching hearts and troubled minds are making their relationship a huge mistake that ever happened in their lives.

When they arrive at Sungmin’s apartment, he faces Hyukjae and faked a smile. Hyukjae knows that everything’s been wrong but he pretended that he doesn’t mind. Hyukjae leans in to him for a kiss and so Sungmin gave him a peck on the lips. He walks inside his apartment without saying a thing while Hyukjae stood outside then his body pressed against the wall.

Sungmin did the same as he closed the door; he presses himself against it as he slowly sank on the floor. He looks so lost as he tried to remember why is he with Hyukjae again. Tears start falling in his eyes. He cries out loud, releasing all the pain he is feeling that time. Hyukjae could hear him from outside as he holds back his cries, feeling guilty of forcing Sungmin into this relationship.

“Life is so unfair!” Sungmin screamed, pulling his hair then hitting his head hard.

‘I’m sorry Ming.’

“I shouldn’t have agreed with this!”

‘You are regretting everything now?’

“Why is it so hard to tell you that I don’t love you?”

‘Maybe it is because you know that it will only cause me pain.’

“Why do I keep pretending that I do?”

‘It is because you want to see me happy.’

“What if you knew that everything is a lie?”

‘I don’t mind, I don’t care but maybe it’s time for you to be happy as well.’

Tears start to flow in Hyukjae’s eyes as the thought of Sungmin’s troubles are caused by him and this fixed marriage. It pains him to know that he’s regretting it now, that he regrets being with him. He knows it from the start that Sungmin is in love with Kyuhyun but when their parents announced that they will be getting married, he thought that it might be a chance for him to show his love for his best friend. Hyukjae’s been in love with him for so long but he never got the chance to tell him personally until that news came to them. He puts a lot of effort just to make him love him too but all this time, he knew he cannot make Sungmin love him more than a friend because Kyuhyun means the world to Sungmin.

It’s not that he really doesn’t love him, he does but it’s nothing more than a brotherly love or so he thought that it’s only that. He is not supposed to agree but knowing that it will only hurt Hyukjae, he can’t say no. Hyukjae wants this marriage to happen in the first place. He cannot hurt Hyukjae, in anyway, he cannot. He doesn’t know why he can’t afford to hurt him, to see him cry, to see him be in pain. It will only hurt him ten times more yet he still doesn’t know why.

Then making Hyukjae’s hopes high that he loves him back just like how Hyukjae loves him so made him realize that he’s the worst person ever. Guilt grows inside him and he wanted to run after Hyukjae, to tell him everything, his true feelings and all. He immediately stands up and opened the door, revealing Hyukjae in his crying state.

He is stunned. Seeing him so defenseless that moment made his heart sink in pain.

“Minnie-ah.” Hyukjae calls his attention. Sungmin’s eyes met his and seeing those swollen eyes, he perfectly knew that Hyukjae’s been crying for a while now. He takes one step slowly, still eyes on him. One more step, trying to reach for him. Hyukjae takes a step backward which surprises Sungmin.

“No, don’t go near me.”

“Why?”

“I’m setting you free.”

Sungmin stopped reaching out for Hyukjae and he stares at his eyes. “Say it again.” He demands.

“I’m setting you free Minnie.”

“That’s bullshit Hyukjae! Why now? Why now that Kyu… already had someone else…” He yells but his voice softens as he stated the latter words. “Why now… when everything is too late…” He sank in his knees as he keeps on mumbling incoherent words. He sobs while Hyukjae stood there, dumbfounded.

“I want you to be happy Minnie. I know you love someone else so go after that person but I want you to know that I love you so much. I tried to make you love me too but I guess I could never replace Kyuhyun in your heart.”

It might be too late for Sungmin and Kyuhyun to get back together but it will never be too late for Sungmin to take one step at a time to love Hyukjae. No, he cannot be in love with Hyukjae as much as he did for Kyuhyun but if he only realizes that he loves Hyukjae more than Kyuhyun, everything will never be too late.

“Then try harder Hyukjae! Try harder! If you will leave me now, then why didn’t you disagree with this freaking marriage in the first place! If I can’t love you as much as I had loved Kyu then you can love me much more than Kyuhyun did! I cannot back out now although everything has been lies, we could still start all over again right?”

‘Of course I don’t mind. I’m always here by your side Ming but I don’t want to force you to love me too.’

“I know it will be too selfish of me to ask but please, help me move on. Help me to forget everything and let’s create our own memories together. Court me again! Make me fall in love with you! I am willing to give this relationship a second try but please, don’t leave me now. Don’t let go of me...”

--

Six months after their wedding, Sungmin is making a lot of effort to stay by Hyukjae’s side. They handled their family’s company together and they are perfect as a team. They are more at ease now that everything might be turning out well as planned. Hyukjae never let go of Sungmin and Sungmin holds on to Hyukjae. They protect each other and cared for each other like what they used to do when they’re still little kids. It’s adorable to see them less awkward, more normal than before. It’s like their relationship now as a couple is more real.

Sungmin manages to move on and Hyukjae patiently waited for it. Sungmin promised Hyukjae that they will be together for better or for worst. After all, they are best of friends. Best of friends love each other and treasure each other so much. They just need to take their relationship to the next level, husband and husband perhaps.

“Good thing there’s a second chance for us because this time, it’s not that bad, right?”

“Yeah, and maybe holding on to you is worth it after all.”

“I’m sorry for burying you in pain in the past.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I know you only want me to be happy. I love you so much that I don’t mind getting hurt every day.”

Sungmin frowns after hearing those words from Hyukjae. Like what he thought before, he cannot afford to know that Hyukjae’s hurting especially if it’s because of him. But realization hit him. He suddenly embraces him tight. “Hey, are you okay?” Hyukjae asks but Sungmin just tightens his hold to him.

‘Maybe I love you more than I think all this time… Maybe that’s why I never want to know you’re hurt, maybe that’s why I never want to see you cry because I think I love you more than anyone else in this world. You are so precious to me Hyukjae-ah that all I want to see is your happiness.’ “I’ll do anything for you Hyukkie. I promise to love you from now on until forever. Thank you so much for everything.”

--
 
 
I am: indifferentindifferent
Now Playing: So Goodbye - Kim Jonghyun
 
 
 
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Rielle / 리 희 림angelrielle on June 3rd, 2011 08:33 am (UTC)
Haha, this is the result of the problem I had the other night, you know what I mean~ x(
thank you for reading neh~
I was thinking of broken!haemin but yeah, I think Kyu is the right person for it. xD
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Rielle / 리 희 림angelrielle on June 3rd, 2011 08:53 am (UTC)
I don't really ship kyu with anyone else other than Min. haha xDD
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Rielle / 리 희 림angelrielle on June 3rd, 2011 09:07 am (UTC)
But I ship Min with Hyuk, Hae, Teuk, Wook, Henli, Mimi and Jungmo. :p
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Rielle / 리 희 림angelrielle on June 3rd, 2011 08:35 am (UTC)
This is a result of my depressed mind the other night. haha, so yeah, I love direct messages as well. Thank you so much for reading bb! ^^

Of course I will write another hyukmin fic, I have 88 more hyukmin fics to finish. :p
mt_cutemt_cute on June 3rd, 2011 10:47 pm (UTC)
First I had tears in my eyes
but in the end is so sweet I like it

Riyumyfairyland on June 5th, 2011 05:46 pm (UTC)
gosh gosh hakhfahsflhalei
i don't know i'll kill you for what reason, heerim~!!! bcoz you broke kyumin? bcoz you make my hyukkie suffer? bcoz you make ming in the difficult situation? sheesh sheesh *smacks you*
but thanks for this angsty fic, u know i'm a sucker for angst fics yet beautiful, gah watdehel i'm incoherent shit
but but you know i love hyukmin ;AAAAA; *forever spazzing*
elf_lover18elf_lover18 on June 9th, 2011 12:33 pm (UTC)
hehehe very very cute one
『Shirley【雪】』: Eunmin smilesyamapirawks on June 9th, 2011 04:27 pm (UTC)
Hyuk is so sweet to Min <33
Love the happy ending ^^
Nishizawa Akiafairash on June 16th, 2011 08:14 am (UTC)
Hello~

Recently i've succeeded in stalking HyukMin fancams, and i couldn't help but awwed over their friendship. Then i started stalking fics, and i found yours ! Yes, KyuMin will always have #1 place in my heart, but HyukMin is catching up ^^

Wonderful story. I love it when Ming decided not to leave Hyuk, and Hyuk not to let go Ming. And they stick together till the end.

Good job ^^